One of the most powerful aspects of Emotional Brain Training is brain states, that all are normal, it’s just how often we hang out in each state that determines the quality of our lives.

During the holidays, chances are you will be in social situations in which you are stressed? What is likely to happen? Merging or distancing? How to you get back to 1? Use the tools, and included in that is identifying the number of others. When you feel IRRITATED with someone, flip the switch and check their brain state. You’ll feel a wave of compassion for them, for yourself, …. and for everyone over the holidays, where unreasonable expectations abound.

Pump up compassion by checking their number!

Right after grad school I worked in health education and they taught us about combining neurotransmitter boosts, except they used more old fashioned terms. Now we know better. Getting a natural high is the most effective strategy to turning off cravings and drives, so how about pre-planning a Triple Joy Point?

I did that today. Keep in mind that any natural pleasure counts, but the trick is to combine them. I watched the rain come down (natural pleasure), raved at the wind blowing the leaves of the trees (natural pleasure) and talked to my dad about his day, having just gotten off the exercise bike. I thought of him at 88 on the bike, and felt a wave of pride . . . pretty great for 88.

Other favorite triple Joy Points (neurotransmitter boosts): walking with my friend Kathy (Joy Point from exercise, from being outdoors, and for laughing together). Another: taking a hot bath, while listening to music and bringing up happy memories.

What do you do that gives you multiple Joy Points, boosting those feel good neurotransmitters?

I have vivid memories of gaining 40 plus pounds with each pregnancy, as cheese and crackers soothes the nausea, and because I was ceaselessly hungry. Hormones!

A new NIH study has been funded, research on EBT and pregnancy, and in meeting to plan the research, I remembered how many weight issues and food cravings were alive and well for me during that tumultuous and astonishingly wonderful time. Now the guidelines for weight gain have changed and we know that the stress levels and metabolic environment of the mother is so important to the development of the child. Excessive weight gain confers risks, that go from generation to generation. For example, mothers who undergo significant weight loss (bariatric surgery) have infants who do not display the hyperinsulemia of their pre-weight loss babies.

What is emerging is more pressure on moms not to gain excessive weight during pregnancy, but all that stress on weight control could trigger . . . stress-related eating! What is your advice for pregnant women about awareness of weight? What were your experiences of weight during pregnancy?

I recall gaining 7 pounds in one week when I was pregnant with my daughter, and having the nurse who weighed me in shock, blaming me for gaining weight. It’s SUCH a sensitive time!

We are emphasizing the use of The Quick Sanctuary Tool, just checking in, assuming Body at 1, lovingly observe yourself, connect with the sanctuary within, bring up a nurturing inner voice and say to yourself the words you most need to hear.

That quick little tool mirrors secure attachment, because you are seeing yourself, hearing yourself, and feeling felt by yourself, and those words you most need to need? That is the arousal of circuits of the most precious connection, the earliest connection with a loving other. Except this time the loving other is you.

Notice that when you really find that sweet spot of connection, you feel a wave of relaxation through your body. Peace at last!

 

Hi,

This afternoon, I coached several participants though The Cycle Tool or gave a consultation on where they were in the training and their next step. When I began giving support for the skills it was with coaching, that precious time to talk about whatever the individual wanted to talk about, whether that involves Cycles or other support.

 

After 4 months of development and 1 month of waiting for Apple’s approval we are proud to announce that “Check In: The Emotional Brain Training App”  is now on the iPhone App Store and will be free for the month of November.

See it in the itunes store HERE

Tonight I was talking to a close friend who is in EBT and she talked about the grace and mystery of life, the spiritual nature of the emotional brain. She said, “Put it on the shelf of the mysteries of mysteries of your life.”

How do you really know if you are a people pleaser, and who cares if you are one? Let’s start with who cares. It’s miserable to be a people pleasure because you aren’t comfortable in your own skin. You are constantly looking for approval from others and paying attention to their feelings and thoughts about you, rather than developing a safe harbor inside. That is enough to create so much stress that you eat, spend, work, smoke, drink, pill pop and zone out on television, computer games or the Internet.

The new instant connection is now live on ebt.org,

To use it just create an account on ebt.org and go to the instant connection.

This new Instant Connection is moving toward a more immersive experience with video clips of laurel helping you prepare for using the different tools.

Also there is a little surprise in there for all those that are missing the pathway painting

Enjoy!

As you move through your day and collect Joy Points, what about sizing up how many moments you experience of unconditional love, you know how it is when you know in the deepest part of your heart that someone loves you no matter what. The pet industry thrive on it, as what do animals do? They don’t have a well-developed prefrontal cortex, but instead their limbic brain, their loving connection dominates. But what about friend, lovers, parents, children, co-workers and neighbors, when do you get a slight way of knowing that you are unconditionally loved, and in fact, you love back with that ferocity?

In the last day, where did you get your unconditional love and how satisfying was it? I woke up this morning to my cat Lady who jumped on my bed and snuggled. That felt like unconditional love, even though a minute later she was on the floor eating a spider. Today I was in a jam at work, trying to get research papers in by the 5 p.m. deadline and my colleague didn’t have time to sign papers. We hung up, and I realized that the study would have to be put off. Then a moment later he called back and said he had found a way to send me his signature. I don’t think it was about the study, but knowing how much work had gone into it, and wanting to be there for me. There were other moments of unconditional love today, but as a focus on collecting Joy Points, I’m particularly sensitive to the joy that comes from that love. It seems to be there, but what is missing is the moment of receptivity.